The Plains Truth
THE STUMP
MODEM -
what you did to the hayfield
KEYBOARD - where you hang your keys
WINDOWS - what to shut down when it's 30 below
WINDOWS 95 - what to open when it's really hot
LOG ON - what to put on the stove when implementing Windows
HARD DRIVE - getting home during January
DOWNLOAD - getting the firewood out of the pickup
MEGAHERTZ - what you get if you're not careful downloading
MICROCHIPS - what calves leave in the pasture
CRASH - what you do after you receive your accountant's bill for your tax
return
COMPUTER - what you say when calling your dog, "Puter" to
dinner
BYTE - what Puter does when you don't feed him
HOW DO YOU
KNOW ? There seems to be a lot of city folks who are a first and second
generation removed from the "country" wanting to move back to
the "country"…….At the same time there are a lot of
"country" folks who want to remain removed from the city. All of
this seems make the word "country" a moving target. What does
living in the "country" mean? Here are a few cream of the crop
"country definitions" if you have others please
share…………. You know you are in the country when: …it's too far
to drive to have a meal out….. (the corollary is when taking your wife
out it means to the church buffet) …the neighbors are too far away to
hear their dogs barking …you can drive all the way home at night without
having to dim your lights …everyone you pass on the road waves and NOW
for the main event:
COW TIPPING What a conversation starter. Whether you are city or country,
the subject of cow tipping starts conversations. In researching this
subject it has been a great ice-breaker and a great opportunity to
introduce people to the "country". Before we get into the ever
popular parsing of words (exactly what is the definition of
"is"?) let's lay-out a common ground definition of what is meant
by cow tipping:
DEFINITION: Cow tipping is when a cow is toppled (tipped over) by a
person. (The popular thought is that this happens when cows are sleeping.)
If you will allow me to introduce you to some cows I know and some cows I
know of it might lead to your understanding of their natural abilities: -
Cows from the mountains able to defend their baby calves against predators
such as mountain lions, timber wolves and bears. - Cows who are able to
run 30 miles per hour. - Cows weighing more than 1500 pounds (equivalent
to five NFL linemen!) - Cows whose owners take extreme care and pride to
ensure their cow's ability to produce at their maximum. The cows I am
familiar with mostly sleep lying down. They spend their time free roaming
large pastures (large enough to run ME down if I messed with her mind).
Why would I even think of tipping a cow who is nursing our end product, a
calf. After all we get paid by pounds we've produced. We want that calf to
be as large as she can raise it to be. A falling 1500 pound cow could get
injured (or injure me). If she gets injured what about her ability to
raise next year's calf? We have a major investment in her. Could you sneak
up on a cow? Possibly. But there are too many reasons not to (see above).
Could you tip her over? Possibly. It would be an act like vandalism. As I
already said cow-tipping is a great conversation piece. I have not talked
to anyone in the cattle business admitting to having tipped a cow. So I
guess that does leave the window (or for the cow: gate) open that it may
occur somewhere, someplace and sometime.
BEEF – FOR HEALTHY PEOPLE
Soli Deo Gloria